The Five Things That Surprised Me Most About Pregnancy

First of all, let me start by saying that for me, the entire pregnancy journey has been surprising from start to finish. As someone who likes to visualize experiences, map things out in advance in my mind and plan as much as possible in advance this has made for an interesting and at times, challenging experience. If I were to try and sum up my feelings on pregnancy in a phrase it would be ‘expect the unexpected’, which I feel is a good primer for the journey into parenthood as well.

Here are the top five things that surprised me the most during my pregnancy: 

1.Traditional medical care is pretty hands off 

Maybe I had skewed assumptions having gone through fertility treatment which is very hands on, but I’ve been consistently a bit taken aback by how hands off traditional prenatal care is. Not in a bad way, just different from what I had expected. To start, while you see your doctor relatively frequently, once a month at the beginning and then with increasing frequency (every two weeks and then every week), the visits themselves are typically quite short and to the point with the exception of a few longer appointments scattered throughout for various tests. Also, unless you have a special consideration or condition, which hopefully you don't, you will probably only have a couple of ultrasounds where you get to see the baby. Cherish those appointments and milestones (and photos!)! 

This approach also places a lot of the onus on preparing for what is ahead during your pregnancy, childbirth and infant care on you. The flexibility to approach this as you’d like is nice in some respects but personally I felt that at times it would have been reassuring to have a more guided approach. 

2. Sleeping is tough

Chalk it up to general anxiety, hormonal changes, general discomfort or the cocktail of all three, but sleeping during pregnancy is a bit of a doozy. Everyone says to stock up on your sleep before the baby comes (if that’s even a thing?) but I’ve found it easier said than done. Even when I have the time and try to indulge in a nap it can be quite difficult to actually nod off. That said, the general exhaustion that you hear about during the first and third trimesters is very real so definitely try and at least rest when you can. 

3. Feeling the baby move is the most amazing yet bizarre feeling 

I’m not sure I will ever forget where I was or what I was doing the first time I (think) I felt the baby move; it was truly a surprising and special moment. That said, the early second trimester flutters and sporadic organic motions that are so precious can turn quite uncomfortable as you head into your final weeks. From full body rolls to hiccups to repeated kicks and punches, sometimes the motions can be quite distracting and even uncomfortable! That's not to say I’ve loved feeling them any less, but sometimes you do have to stop what you’re doing to rub your belly and have a little chat with the little one to try and calm things down. 

4. Nesting is very real 

Just ask any spouse or partner and they will affirm this for you. Prior to experiencing it myself I chalked it up to one of those “Ok, sureeee” pregnancy observations. My how wrong I was! Starting about halfway through my pregnancy I was struck by an urge to plan and organize and strategize as much as possible. Of course this is all but impossible, but making lists, researching gear and parenting advice and talking with friends who are parents have all helped me feel more prepared. That and compulsively organizing every storage space in our apartment! 

5. Pregnancy is a time of contrasts 

You will be equally anxious and excited. Time will seem to move at a snail's pace, but also too quickly. You will be elated to be on this journey, but also may feel very uncomfortable or battle morning sickness for significant portions of it. You will want nothing more than to speed to the end to meet your baby, but you will also be incredibly apprehensive about all of the life changes you are about to undergo. I’ve found this constant mental and emotional back and forth to be unsettling and confusing at times and something I’ve surprisingly embraced at others. I’ve also come to the realization that there is no one, right way to approach pregnancy or the path to parenthood so as unsettling as these contrasts can be they are also normal and a part of the journey.